It’s 6 AM here in SC, and it’s 29 degrees. My husband had to leave about an hour ago, and I did not get up to walk him out to the door because it was super cold. He was picking on me because I have temperature-controlled love for him. He said, “Ya, your love for me stops at 45 degrees.” Well, he got my wheels turning with that statement. How often have I stopped showing him the love he deserves throughout our marriage because it made me uncomfortable? Sadly, it’s happened a lot recently.
First Step is Acknowledging There is a Problem
While he may have been joking with me this morning, I could also hear the pain in his voice over losing that extra action from me. That broke my heart because I am blessed with a hardworking man who showers me with attention and love all day, even though he works 12 or more hours a day. There are still days he’s willing to come home and cook on top of it just because he knows I HATE cooking.
So, why couldn’t I be bothered to get my lazy behind out of bed this morning to take a 5-minute gesture to fully walk him to the door and give him a passionate kiss before he went into the cold to work for our family? I can only say I was lazy, and now I regret it. What if that had been my last chance?
He deserves to be loved regardless of the temperature outside. After all, they say love is an action, right?
Second Step: Removing the Temperature-Controlled Love Barrier
Needless to say, I will be getting up for that special kiss in the morning. Because I DO want him to know how much he is loved and how much he matters to me when he walks away from me.
But all too often, I know I’m not the ONLY spouse who has fallen guilty of showcasing temperature-controlled love. I have been watching the series First Wives Club on Netflix, and one of the couples provides a clear example of how the SMALL things we do for each other can truly add up and make an impact.
We often tend to set conditions on what we are willing to do for our spouses. We expect them to fulfill certain expectations so that we can reciprocate. This approach limits our love and prevents us from expressing our affection through actions, ultimately communicating how much we care for them. Or worse, we place unrealistic expectations on what we want from them.
My challenge for every spouse reading this post is to get into the COLD weather or uncomfortable situations and do those small things that matter to your spouse.
Ideas of How to Actively Show Your Love
- Obviously, the first thing on my mind is getting up when your spouse is about to leave for work and giving them that passionate kiss before they go. And if you can, greet them at the door when they come home from work.
- Try to get them their favorite snacks or treats when you can.
- Send them loving text messages throughout the day. Call to tell them you love them.
- Cook them their favorite meal just because.
- Run a hot bubble bath for them.
- Give them time to do what they want without interruption.
- Please give them a loving massage without expecting it to turn into more. (Although we have yet to master being able to do that, even after 18 years of marriage, we still burn for each other too much.)
- Put on the lingerie for your man. Men put on the cologne, you know, drives her mad.
- Cook or bring home dinner when you hear your wife is having a bad day at work.
- Let your husband know how much you appreciate what he does for you.
- Share your future dreams.
- Hold hands every chance you get.
- Hug them when you can.
- Dance together.
The list of small romantic gestures that can break the barrier of the temperature-controlled love scenario that many of us give our spouses is endless.
Ask Your Spouse
I feel fortunate to have a partner who is not afraid to express their emotions and worries. However, several friends and family members confide in me about the lack of warmth and emotional connection in their marriages. Despite this, their partners seem oblivious to the issue and continue to show a lack of affection and concern, and like me, have given temperature-controlled love.
I encourage you to break the communication barriers in your marriage. Take this as a hint that you may need to look at your actions and ensure you are showing your spouse they are loved DAILY.
Talk to me in the comments:
Have you been guilty of temperature-controlled love actions with your spouse?
Pin it, please.
Other Posts That May Interest You
5 Movies Every Married Couple Should Watch at Least Once
The Hard Truths About Married Life
How to Bring Your Values to Your Wedding Day
How to Avoid Showing Your Spouse Temperature-Controlled Love
How to Remove Unrealistic Expectations in Your Marriage
Yes, what an interesting phrase! Great thoughts and ideas here. I think it’s easy to not be our best when we’re not feeling our best, which is usually my struggle. Thank you for sharing this post at the Will Blog for Comments #16 linkup. Hope to see you there next week, too!
This is especially true. I’m glad you found this insightful.
I hope to see you again soon. Thank you for stopping by and commenting.
Visiting again from the Will Blog for Comments #17 linkup. Thank you for sharing this post there. Hope to see you there next week, too.
I appreciate your support and visits. I truly like your linkup. 😉
I really enjoyed reading this post and also the great list. It is really important to keep your relationship alive and to participate in it every single day.
I’m glad you enjoyed reading this and shared your input.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I hope to see you again soon.
P.S. I sent you an email.