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Marriage is a funny thing! It can be the biggest challenge we go through in our lives. I decided to ask my grandmother for her save your marriage advice that she would give to anyone struggling in their marriage. I wasn't expecting her wise advice to be so simple.
I know it's been a while since I wrote to you last. As you know life can become quite hectic. I feel like I gave you plenty of reading material with the marriage books for couples for the discouraged wife. I hope those books provided you with some encouragement and help.
Save Your Marriage With This Wise Advice
Men can't stand to be nagged or controlled! It is in their wiring to be the one who should be in charge. As a result, many women unknowingly cause friction within their marriages.
We're lonely, frustrated, feel like our to-do lists are too long, and feel under-appreciated. We long to have our husbands help us more. We want their attention more.
The big issue is we don't know how to get it!
Here's the thing though they don't want to have to do much more than work hard to pay the bills, and then come home and relax. Often times that relaxation leads to more piles of dirty dishes, clothes, and a whole lot of mess to clean up. Meanwhile, we're the ones tending to the whinny kids, dogs and cats under our feet adding to the mess, and longing to take a nice hot shower/bath and put our feet up to watch TV. Sound about, right?
Here's the good news. This save your marriage wise advice will help you get what you want from your husband. If you read the marriage books for couples I recommended, then you know that ultimately your husband needs to be respected AND needed AND appreciated all in one big bow. On top of that bow, they need to be the big problem solver.
Stress You Need Him
You do that by presenting him with your problems and tell him that you need his help to fix it. Showcase for him the long list of things you have to do each day. Let him know that you APPRECIATE him working as hard as he does, but you NEED his help too. The problem is you don't know how he can help you without it taking away from what he wants to do. After all, you know that he values the kids and you as much as you do him. You need to know what he would consider a reasonable way for him to help you out in the mornings and evenings when he's home.
I don't know of too many men who won't jump at the chance to help you. If you let them, they'll come up with a routine that will benefit you both. In most cases, men assume we have it under control and don't want to mess up our systems. So, by telling him this stuff you're stroking his ego and giving him a way to solve a problem for you.
Put the Ball in His Court
You can apply this same concept with other issues. Instead of telling him the car needs to be maintained, ask him when does the car need to be maintained. Stress to him it feels like it might need it, but you're not sure. That will get him checking out the fluids on the vehicle rather quickly. He wants you to be safe on your trips.
The overall concept is to ask him for his help. You don't demand or tell him you need it. You put him in control of the situation. You remind him how much he's needed for his roles in your life.
It won't work unless you do!
Here's the kicker, you can't be a lazy wife and expect him to do everything. He has to know you're a partner! He will move mountains for you if you are pulling your weight too.
What is the save your marriage wise advice that has been passed down to you?