I've learned many things from having multiple kids. I hope this top advice for first-time moms will help a new mother to make the most of her first year moments with her precious bundle of joy. Due to someone important to me having her first baby, it made me ponder all the things I'd tell her to make her parenting journey easier. I know my first child caused me to hit the panic button.
I had no clue how to be a parent. I had post-paradigm depression and didn't even know it. I didn't have a mother that I felt I could turn to for help. I want to keep other parents from having those same feelings of despair and fear.
Top Advice for First Time Moms
Live in the Now
I stress this one a lot throughout my blog. This is valuable information for ANYONE to take to heart. We are not given a moment over again. Babies do a wide range of things that you'll never forget for a lifetime. This can include but isn't limited to, peeing in someone's face or pooping in someone else's hands in the midst of changing diapers. Everything else in life can wait because those first 12 months of your little one's life is going to FLY by. (I'm NOT saying don't take care of your home. I'm just saying don't stress over having to keep a crying baby happy versus washing the dishes at that given moment.)
My lifesaver was a bouncy chair with Zeva because she was glad to sit in it. The boys couldn't resist pushing her around in it. It freed me up more time to do other things without worrying about her.
Be On The Same Team As Your Spouse
I could have put this first. However, enjoying the moments is just as important. If you and your spouse have a different opinion on raising your kids, don't let your children know it. Talk to your spouse about their decisions away from the kids. (Trust me, IT WILL happen!) Keep in mind that someone needs to have the final say.
Kids Will Eat When They Are Hungry
If you leave a child hungry long enough, they will eat. I'm not a fan of having a child stay hungry for long. I've been known to give something to a child opposite meal as everyone else UNTIL they reach the age of 5. Then their only other option is a peanut butter sandwich if they don't want what everyone else has.
I've also learned that if you want your kids to eat healthily, the best way to make that happen is to do it yourself.
DON'T Hold Them to Put Them to Sleep
This is one lesson I wish someone had DRILLED into my head before I was in charge of the nighttime routines. Make sure you cover all of their needs, from feeding them to giving them baths, using Johnson's Bedtime Bath. If you want to cuddle time with them, read them a book just to the point they are about to fall asleep and then put them to bed on their own. LEAVE the room.
If they start to whine, let them be for a minute. Then, check on them again and resist the urge to pick them up. LEAVE the room again. Stay away a bit longer and go back in and check on them. They will gain the idea quicker that they are SAFE on their own. I won't tell you not to check on them throughout the night because I did it and didn't regret it one bit. Make sure you give them a routine and set time for bed.
Saying NO Doesn't Make You Horrible
I do believe I say NO more than I say yes. However, in my defense, my in-laws spoil my kids royally since they live less than 200 feet away. I've learned through the years that my kids don't overly appreciate materialistic gifts. It's always been better when they've had to earn their toys. (It's also beneficial in the long run too.) Kids love boxes with a bit of crayon or paint just as much as they love the new toy car on the market.
You must also learn to say no to yourself to the long list of baby items you think you will want. One example of something that seems frivolous but can help you a lot is investing in the best diaper pails to help keep the smell down. But you have to say no to sticking with name-brand products and items all the time. You may also want to ensure that you buy different kinds of diapers because your child may be able to use the dollar store brand of diapers and save yourself a ton of money. (Plus, in my experience, the dollar store brand of diapers was made of better quality, too.)
No is not a terrible word. It's a concept that will help you more than you may realize.
Create Patterns
My kids look forward to our movie time each week. When I don't watch movies and shows with them during the week, they miss it as much as I do. They also look forward to our holiday traditions. All of those little things matter to kids.
Teach Them About The Value of Money EARLY
Kids need to know that everything costs money. If they want something, you will have to work more hours to cover the cost or cost them something else in exchange. The sooner they learn about opportunity costs, the better for everyone.
If they see you using coupons, waiting for something to be on sale, appreciating finding a good deal at a thrift store, and other things like that, the more they will understand the value of a dollar. If you can teach them early on to "earn money" for what they want, they are more likely to appreciate working and buying their luxury items. (That includes the name-brand products.)
Read With Your Child
Reading will only be appreciated if you do it with them as soon as possible. Reading is an adventure. Believe me when I say that reading with your kids will help you see things in an entirely different way. PLUS, this will drastically help them learn how to read. Reading was the hardest subject for me to teach my kids on our homeschooling journey because we all have dyslexia.
Chores Are Important
When your children tackle tasks, it helps you run the home. However, it also teaches them responsibility. It also shows them the value of teamwork. Let's not forget that they will have to do these things independently when they grow up. Be sure to check out our chores list for ideas on how they can help you.
Teach Them Organization
My Momma used to tell me, "Everything has a place." When your kids learn that everything has a place to be, they are more inclined to keep things where they belong. It also helps to maintain sanity in the home. It also helps when you don't keep things you don't use.
Don't Be Afraid to Admit You're Wrong
Parenting is like going to school all over again. You learn things as you go along because every child is different. What may have worked for one of your kids may not work with another. You're going to make mistakes along the way. It takes a bigger person to admit when they are wrong than to try to brush it under the rug. I learn as much from my kids as they do from me.
Be You!
Let your kids know that they are uniquely made, and they should be proud of who they are. You are, too. Don't be worried about embarrassing yourself or your kids. They will overcome it. We are all strange and odd in our ways.
Always Be The Parent
You were not given these wonderful blessings to be their best friends. We are designed to be their parents. That means you can't be their friend like Gilmore Girls and expect things always to go well. Real life is more complex than what you see on that show. I am my kids' parent, but they still tell me anything on their minds! It's not always easy to get them talking, but they always do.
There will be times when you both have strong doses of dislike. Love always wins.
Don't Let The Mom Guilt Get You
Don't feel guilty for having a hobby, provided you ensure your kids' needs are met. We all need a break from each other and everything else.
Don't focus on the negatives. We can't always prevent things from happening. We can't be with them 24/7.
Take Care of Yourself Too
Momma can't take care of her family if she doesn't care for herself. Make sure that you make time for your own self-care.
Shower Your Child With Love DAILY
Our most important job as parents is to help them be an asset to this world. Love is a powerful emotion that helps make this world a better place. I can't say enough how important it is to show our kids love daily, For the Family has shared 68 Ways to Demonstrate Love to Our Kids. They need to know at the end of the day that you love them regardless of what they have done/not done.
I hope this top advice for first-time moms helps you. Being a mother is the biggest blessing in the world. It changes a person in ways they never expected.
Talk to me in the comments, please:
What would you add to this list of top advice for first-time moms?
P.S. Just to let you know, it's perfectly okay not to agree with some or all of my advice. We all parent our kids differently.
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I felt so overwhelmed when I had my firstborn, there is just so much conflicting advice! Thanks for linking up with #stayclassymama (would be great if you could add the badge next time)
There is definitely a lot of conflicting bits of advice out there. I do hope that everyone follows the advice that suits their home the most.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I hope to see you again soon.
You have great advice here, points that everyone honestly needs to hear. I am not a mother, but I’ve seen so many of my friends and family struggle with these points.
I try to always tell my kids “I love you” before naps or bedtime. Even my daughter, who has no idea what that means because she is only seven-months-old. I want my kids to always know how I feel about them, and starting early is one way to get it into their little heads!
I tell my kids I love them a lot throughout their days. I get/give quite a few hugs throughout the day too.
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My advice for new parents is to think like a scientist or engineer when dealing with your kids, always take feedback and notice the responses and the effects of your decisions, always have a clearly defined goal, what is it that you want your kids to be, what kind of life do you want for them to have, and optimize your decisions to fulfill that goal.
Parenting is a life long practice, you will be better as a parent as long as you constantly take feedback and try to learn how to successfully manage your family.
I’m so glad you commented on your advice! I completely agree with you that parenting is a life long practice. I’m constantly learning with my kids. Sometimes I wonder who is teaching who more.
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New moms are also like a new kid who hardly knows things about parenting. To being mom, she learns the things with time and makes many mistakes because its natural but i recommend these tips to every new mom who is worried about bringing up her child in a best way. thanks for sharing the post.. dude!
You’re right that a new mom is in a similar situation as the kids, and not knowing what to do. We do learn a lot about parenting as we go along.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I hope to see you again soon.
You have great advice here, points that everyone honestly needs to hear. I am not a mother, but I’ve seen so many of my friends and family struggle with these points.
I’m glad that you feel this is solid advice.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I hope to see you again soon.
You have great advice here, points that everyone honestly needs to hear. I am not a mother, but I’ve seen so many of my friends and family struggle with these points.
Thank you. Through the years, I’ve seen many parents also struggle with these points. (Shoot at various points in my own parenting journey, I have as well!)
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I hope to see you again soon.