The Hard Truths About Married Life

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As we embrace our eighteenth wedding anniversary, I can’t help but think about all the life obstacles we’ve overcome over that time together. How often we’ve had to choose to stay married rather than throw in the towel blows my mind. There are so many hard truths about married life that no one talks about.

In this post, we will pull back the curtain on the hard truths about married life that social media glosses over. Whether you’re newly married or decades, you’ll find comfort, solidarity, and practical insights to help you weather the tough seasons—and maybe even come out stronger on the other side.

Let’s talk about the hard truths about married life no one wants to admit… but everyone needs to hear.

Communication is KEY

Communication is one of the most common recommendations for a thriving, healthy marriage. That is the complete truth!! If you’re unwilling to discuss anything and everything with your spouse, you may want to consider getting professional help for your marriage before it dies.

Our kids feel like my husband and I argue a lot, but they don’t realize we are both EXTREMELY passionate people. We can get loud quickly and not be truly mad at each other. We don’t back down from each other and ensure we are HEARD in the moment.

Is it a truly healthy way to communicate? Probably NOT. But does it work for us? YES!

We have always vowed to hash out issues as they arise. We don’t let things grow and fester between us. We dive into the topic the minute we feel uncomfortable with each other. Sometimes, it’s a bit much, but honestly, I HAVE to have that line of communication, or I won’t feel safe. It’s one of the hard truths about married life for us.

Your version of proper communication with your spouse may be utterly different, and honestly, a healthier way of doing it. Still, if you’re not talking and having some kind of disagreements, then you’re just floating in your relationship. And that’s not healthy or leading to a secure marriage either.

They say getting married kills your sex life…but that's a LIE! 💍 A strong marriage doesn't mean boring—it means two people committed to keeping the spark alive. ✨ Work on it. Talk about it. Enjoy it. 😉 #MarriedLife #MarriageGoals #SharingLifesMoments https://t.co/oKBKYyf2eI
— The Greens (@crystal_greensc) May 10, 2026

Your Sex Life Will Hit Dry Spells!

I always swore that due to my sexually abused past, I never wanted to make my husband feel this way. I wanted to ensure we continued to have a healthy sex life. To this day, I stand behind the decision.

But does that mean our sex life is perfect and always active? NO!

After enduring two bedridden pregnancies, a gall-bladder removal surgery, his back and kidney issues, and being PARENTS and caretakers for parents, sex has taken a back seat on our road of life more times than I care to count.

Let’s not forget working for a living, having opposite schedules, and having to choose between eating or having sex in the limited time we have together. Also, as we age, sex becomes more challenging, to say the least.

So, yes, it’s EASY to be young and spry and state that you’ll never let your sex life suffer once you become married. It’s harder to make it a reality.

But here are some tried and true tips to help keep your sex life thriving in your marriage:

Be open minded:

When you get married, you become ONE with your spouse. Your body is no longer your own, in my opinion. (I’m NOT stating that your spouse has the right to use it as they see fit, but I am saying that you’re their source for taking care of their sexual and physical needs.)

Click this image for more details on my opinion on this topic.

A man and woman standing on a bed with their legs up

Be willing to explore and try new things:

We must be willing to explore and try new things with our spouses. But never pressure your spouse to do anything they aren’t entirely comfortable with. Despite 17 years of marriage, there is still one thing I’ve held off on doing with my husband due to fear. He respects that decision, but he does touch base on it from time to time.

But as we age, sex isn’t as easy as it once was for us, and we have had to add some assistance to make it better. We are not ashamed to talk about Just the Tip, a new product we’ve found that works wonders in helping us feel like our young, spry teenage selves. We get a weekend full of blissfulness that we don’t typically get thanks to this product. It’s well worth the money!!

Although we have tried other supplements through the years, this one works best because we take it thirty minutes before we want a couple of days’ worth of enjoyment. However, these Just the Tip cones do have to stay in a temperature-controlled room, and we don’t recommend leaving them sitting for an extended time because they lose their effect.

There haven’t been any adverse lasting effects from using them. We both have health issues, and were concerned about that detail, but we found this product to be right up our alley and worth using.

Discover the hard truths about married life no one talks about. Ready for real talk and honest insights? Read the full post now on the blog!

Let’s Talk About The Hard Truth About Married Life … That almost seems like secrets.

Let’s talk about the hard truths of married life… 🫢
The stuff no one posts on Instagram.
The things they don’t tell you in premarital counseling.
Ready for the real talk? 👀💍#MarriageTruths #RealTalk #SharingLifesMoments https://t.co/oKBKYyf2eI pic.twitter.com/TWNdVHckvj
— The Greens (@crystal_greensc) May 10, 2026

You Won’t Always Feel In LOVE

Love is a choice. You make a decision daily to choose your spouse. There will be days when you can’t stand your spouse, and you’ll probably daydream of a life without them.

Yes, I said there are times I have considered leaving Del. There are times when I’ve fully figured out how to make it without him. Then he comes home, and we work through whatever issue we may have had. I’m golden again. I am reminded WHY I chose to be married to HIM.

I took my vows quite seriously. I chose NOT to give up on our marriage. Shoot, there have been days I didn’t even like my husband, and he’s felt the same way about me, even though he’ll never admit it in a million years.

But we are humans. We are NOT perfect. We make mistakes!

Sometimes, those mistakes are huge. Sometimes, we hurt our spouses the most since they are the people we are closest to. That’s why it’s essential to show your spouse grace and forgiveness. That’s one of the reasons why the Bible gives a full definition of love, which includes…not keeping records of wrongs. (1 Corinthians 13:5)

The secret here is knowing you will have days where you don’t fully feel like you’re in love with your spouse. Sometimes you’ll think the grass is greener on the other side, but if you believe in your vows and everything about love, you’ll choose to love them. That, my dear, is the hard truths about married life that many people don’t want to acknowledge.

Spouses DO Change

Here’s another harsh, hard truth about married life that many don’t discuss enough. As we grow older, we change. It’s a fact of life. Who we are at the core of us doesn’t change, but many things about us change in life.

For example, my body has gone through many wild changes over the years. There have been plenty of times it was hard for me to look at myself in the mirror because I was so disgusted by what I saw when I looked at myself. But Del never lost interest in me! He still pursued me with the same ghusto he did when we first met.

Our passions in life change over time, which can lead to discomfort in marriage because we often marry someone who shares similar interests. Granted, in my marriage, that’s definitely not the case since in so many ways, we are polar opposites. But I have seen this become an issue for other couples.

Even our viewpoints can change! The more we know, the more we grow our knowledge of topics. This one can be detrimental to a marriage if the couple isn’t willing to meet their spouse where they are in life.

Successful marriages adapt to each other’s growth rather than resisting it. But it’s one of the hard truths about married life that many people don’t discuss how they deal with these changes.

Here are some tips on how to deal with changes in your spouse:

Remember, you are changing too. It would amaze you how much this detail has helped me better handle Del’s changes.
Make sure you’re growing together. Be sure that you’re getting educated and knowledgeable about whatever changes they may be making in their life.
Be their support system! Sometimes, life throws major curveballs and alters our lives in ways we can’t control. My car accident completely utterly changed every aspect of my life, and in turn, my family’s. That’s just one example of how having a strong, supportive spouse can positively impact your life.

We Get The REAL Version Of Our Spouse

We get the version of our spouses that doesn’t hide any of their faults—their true blue characters. As such, the hardest truth about married life, in my opinion, is knowing that we are expected to accept all the little things that annoy us about our spouses’ nature. We can’t change them since they are grown adults! They have to be willing to change themselves.

I have one extremely annoying trait! Despite my desire to change it, I haven’t conquered it yet. But it is a thorn in our sides. Lucky for me, he still loves me despite it.

Conclusion

These hard truths about married life are probably only the tip of the iceberg about the secrets of marriage. But they are the ones that I see often, not mentioned enough.