Everyone says that raising toddlers is so challenging, but let me tell you, being a mom of a tween and teen, puts things into a whole new ball game! Considering we have both of them in our home, it’s quite a challenge. On one hand, we have a teenager full of emotions, and the other one believing he’s completely ready for the adult world when he’s not.
Tips for Moms of Tweens and Teens
Keep Texts Friendly
I’ve learned this one the hard way. Texting has become one of the best ways to get my kids communicating when they won’t talk in any other form. I’ve found that I’ve been able to get the doors of communication opened up via text, and then INVITING them to my room or requesting to join them works a bit easier.
Ask Them to Do Things
I can’t stand being ordered to do something! I’ve learned that my kids feel the same exact way. The more I ask them to do things the quicker they do things.
Ask for Do-Overs in Conversations or 110% Freedom to Be Honest
Oh boy, this one is sometimes hard to swallow. However, I have learned a LOT about how to be a better parent to my kids. I’ve learned so much during these honest hardcore talks with my oldest son. Our bond has grown through all of these heated conversations. We made it so the car was our “safe zone.” He’s used that option more times than I ever expected him to do, but I praise God it happened!
Work on Greetings When They Come Home
You know the saying, there’s nothing better than having a dog greeting you at the door with total enthusiasm. Kids want that same excitement from their parents when they come home from being away. My kids go to my in-laws for a night each week except for my daughter. I can always tell they watch my reaction quite closely when they walk in the door. When my face beams with a smile, they run to give me a hug (even my 17-year-old does it.) It warms my heart to see them thrilled to be home, and they are thrilled by the fact that I’m full of excitement to have them here.
Ask for Their Opinions or Advice
Believe it or not, kids want to be heard. They are FULL of amazing ideas and suggestions if you’ll listen to them. Again, my kids teach me a lot almost daily! Shoot, my son had to show me how to operate many things in my new car. But when I let them they give off powerful words of wisdom in so many areas of our life. My daughter sometimes makes me think she’s the “little Miss Wise Owl” of the family.
Avoid Asking Twenty Questions
I can’t stand talking with someone and all they do is pop me with question after question. (Yes, I’ve found myself doing this very crime.) However, teenagers dislike it even more than I do. Do your best to talk to them like you would a friend and carry on a conversation with them like they are an adult as much as possible. You’ll find they will talk to you more freely.
Bless The Friends You Don’t Like
I have always been honest with my kids about how I feel about the friendships they have. Yet, I haven’t made them lose friendships due to my dislike. I have stressed to them to be an example of the type of person they should be at all times.
Use I Statements As Much As Possible
As with any relationship, it’s best to use I statements rather than “you make” me feel statements. When you use I statements I keep from offending someone else as easily. On top of that, it helps everyone to be able to express how they feel with more ease.
Get Good At Reading Your Teen
Your teenage will show you what kind of mood they are in with their actions. It’s imperative that you pay attention to how they say things and carry themselves. There have been plenty of times when I have had no clue what is going on with my teenage son, but I’ve known he was off-kilter.
Take in the Long View
I’m sure at some point in your life you’ve heard the saying, “If it won’t matter in five years, don’t spend more than five minutes dwelling over it.” I have had to use this to determine which battles were worth fighting with my teenager over. I have always fought with them over getting schoolwork done, household chores (responsibility), and how they treated others.
I was surrounded by people who didn’t understand why I stuck with those battle lines. They felt that the teenager was “just being teenagers” and I needed to let it go. While it was a hard battle, my teenagers who are becoming fully independent, have told me they are glad I stayed on them as I did.
Parenting tweens and teenagers is a hard task, but it’s truly rewarding to see them blossom into assets in their communities. When they become a friend in your life is even more richly rewarding.
What tips for Moms of tweens and teens would you add?
Trackbacks/Pingbacks