Due to the days getting dark sooner, I have more time to do one of my favorite past times… blog hopping. I came across a post from Sweet Honey and Sacrifice called Our Bodies Are No Longer Ours Alone and it has prompted me to want to add in my two cents on this topic. On my old blog, I talked about sex within a marriage quite often, but I haven’t really dived into the topic on this blog much at all. As Tina pointed out in her blog post, this is a topic that we shouldn’t feel the least bit ashamed to be discussing nor is it something that we should sweep under the rug within our marriages.

When Should Sex Take a Backseat?

There are very few times that sex should take a backseat within a marriage! It should take one where there are health issues and a doctor requests you take a break. It can happen when you AND your spouse have a period of AGREED waiting so that you can fast and pray on the matter more. However, those truly are the only times it should be put on hold.

If your life is jammed-packed and you feel overwhelmed, that honestly is NOT a solid reason for not maintaining a healthy marriage.

Why Is Sex Within A Marriage So Important?

Sex is NOT the most important aspect of marriage for sure. The longer that I’m married (now over 13 years) the more I see how easy it is to not care about your sex life. However, that is quite detrimental to your marriage. God designed sex to be a way for couples to maintain their closeness. Sex is more than just action within a marriage bed. It’s a way for couples to connect on a spiritual level. Have you ever noticed when you really get physically involved with having sex that it’s almost like your body is taken to another dimension with your spouse? Guess what, that happens because you have made the ultimate connection with them.

Sex also helps us to relieve our stresses. Sex produces many other things within our bodies that help us to thrive through the hard times in our life. Yes, it is also designed to help us reproduce, but I firmly believe it’s more than that.

Our Bodies Are No Longer Ours Alone

As Tina pointed out, the Bible clearly states we are not to deprive our spouses of being pleased by us sexually. Is that saying that our spouses have the right to take advantage of us….NO! But it is saying that as a spouse to someone we should feel obligated to meet their sexual needs. This is will help prevent them from being tempted by others.

While you can argue that everyone is responsible for their own actions, I believe that as a spouse if I KNOWINGLY do not meet the needs of my husband, then him cheating on me should not come as a surprise. AND I would be partly to blame! While I feel a person does legally and Biblically have the right to divorce someone who cheats on them, I also feel that it should be something that should be fully examined within the marriage. It takes TWO to make a marriage survive, and sex for better or worse IS a part of keeping your marriage healthy.

The Reality of the Situation

Our bodies are no longer ours alone is a harsh reality when we get married. It’s far simpler to just “make him wait” a bit longer. He loves me and he won’t mind. In actuality, there are plenty of men who may just let it go because they feel like they signed on to be without sex when they got married. However, it’s NOT doing either of you any good within your marriage or life.

The fact of the matter is there are far more people who could care less if a person is married or not, and they will pursue a married person without blinking an eye. While your husband can be the most honorable man alive if the right buttons are pushed and he’s not having his home fires burning there trust me he will fail!! (Mind you I’m saying husband, but wives can fail just as easily!)

I feel we owe it to our spouses to help them to be able to resist temptations. We also owe it ourselves to know we have a healthy marriage. Sex provides us with plenty of benefits beyond just saving our marriages.

If your sex life is NOT fulfilling you personally, then it’s time to have some hard heart-to-heart talks with your spouse. No one is a mind reader. You both have to find ways to experiment within your marriage bed that make you feel comfortable.

IF there are other barriers that are preventing you from wanting or enjoying sex such as past sexual abuse then those need to be addressed. While that is an extremely hard obstacle to overcome (I’ve done it!) it is NOT an excuse to hide behind. Believe me, when I say putting in the effort to get help on this matter is a life changer and one well worth taking the time to conquer.

The overall point is our bodies are no longer ours once we say those magic words, I DO. As spouses, we need to stop thinking about only ourselves and our needs/wants. We need to ensure that we are doing our part to keep our OWN home fires burning to the fullest.

Talk to me in the comments:

I know it’s not an overly comfortable topic to express especially out loud, but I believe by commenting you will see just how common of an issue this is for MANY marriages!! The more open we are on the topic the more we can FIX this issue. I sincerely believe we can help many marriages from falling apart.

We appreciate every share we get because it helps this blog grow! Thank you in advance.