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When your significant other has a problem, it’s only natural to want to provide the solution. You want to be there to support your partner through a hard time. Aside from being there for your children, your partner is your whole world! They’re the very person you love most and that you do your best to support.
But now they’re feeling down and acting like someone you don’t know.
Being there for your partner can be tricky in a time like this. You might not even be sure how to approach a conversation about what’s bothering them, especially if they’re usually very chatty and love to talk about their day.
But you don’t have to be stuck with nothing to do and no way to help. A hard time for them will also be a challenging time for you. Sharing this burden and doing your best to lift each other again is one of the core tenets of being in a relationship.
Of course, you know your partner better than anyone, so the tips below are for rough, general guidance about how to help right now. If you’ve no idea where to start or how to help them feel better, these can be the difference between feeling like you’ve got nothing to say and offering healthy support.
Solid Tips To Support Your Partner Through A Hard Time
Don’t Rush the Conversation
If you want to discuss the issue the first time, you shouldn’t be rushed or just asked offhandedly. If someone is on their way to work at 6 in the morning and the need to ask strikes you, try to dial it back until they’re home again at the end of the day.
You should have time and space to discuss what’s bothering them properly. Not only does this stop the person from feeling ambushed, but it also means you can think about what you want to say.
Remember, you’re not confronting your partner. You’re in this together and only trying to help; that might even be something your loved one needs reminding of at the moment.
Focus on Them, Rather Than ‘Us’
It’s tempting to focus on how your relationship is suffering because your partner is closed off or otherwise distracted. However, focusing on this element above anything else could only push your significant other further away.
You don’t want to bring this energy into a conversation around the issue, especially if this is the first time you’re broaching the subject with them. It would be best if you didn’t go in guns blazing and accidentally make your partner think that all problems in your household are their fault right now.
Instead, focus on them. Ask how they feel, and check in with what they’re thinking. You can then start talking about how you’re feeling and what you think might be happening in your relationship right now. This gentle, progressive shift can make a real change in the way your partner approaches what they’re dealing with.
Listen More Than You Talk
Listening is the best skill to put to use right now. When your partner wants to open up about something, giving them the air to speak into it can strengthen your relationship. Plus, when you make a real effort to listen, you pick up a lot more than if you were just casually to chat.
Please give them the floor, as it were, and let them know you’re here to help. Offer them physical support during your conversation, and above all, don’t jump immediately into trying to solve the issue. You may be the kind of person who likes to grab the bull by the horns, but sometimes, we must be more sensitive.
Asking if they want you to vent with them or if they’d like to hear some potential solutions from a different source will also go a long way to helping them feel like you’re on their side.
Give Them a Bit of Space
Giving your partner space can be hard when you want to support them. You want to be there for them and do as much as possible to help them out of a dark hole. However, this can only overwhelm them further. It won’t happen every time, but it can, and you want to be conscious of this possibility.
Giving space can be both physical and mental. You can tell your partner you know they’re upset about something, but you won’t bring it up again until they’re ready to talk about it. You can also give them physical space, such as running a hot bath after a long day and then leaving them to relax. A little give is good here, but you can also use this time productively and take care of yourself – more on that later.
Offer Practical Support During Depressive Periods
Practical support is one of the best kinds of support. It involves our actions to help someone when they’ve little time or energy to take care of themselves. From making someone a sandwich to take to work, all the way to driving them to an alcohol rehab to make sure they get there safe and sound, practical support is crucial at a time like this.
Offering practical support can also take a lot of energy, so be careful not to go overboard and promise more than you can deliver. But at the same time, consider what your partner isn’t capable of doing themselves right now, and try to fill the gap in the short term.
Actions speak louder than words, especially if ‘acts of service’ is a love language you share.
Do Small Things That Remind Your Partner You Love Them
These things will differ in each relationship, but we all have a small thing we love our partner to do that reminds us they’re thinking about us. For example, buying a packet of your favorite candy from a store, simply because they thought you might like it. Try out actions like these right now.
Take Care of Yourself
Taking care of yourself is crucial at all times, but when your partner is in an off mood or feels like they’re pulling away from you, you must keep your eye on self-care activities. Many negative words and actions could arise if you don’t, and falling into this trap certainly won’t help when the person you love is already on the edge.
Like we said above, when you’re giving them time, give yourself time too. Cook up a nutritious meal you love, or order something to tuck into in front of the TV. You can enjoy yourself at this time; in doing so, you can even remind your partner that life goes on and nothing is ever really as bad as it seems in your head.
Supporting Your Partner: What to Remember
If your partner is going through a hard time right now, the first step is identifying what’s going on. Then, you can work towards a healthy solution, whether together or not.
Of course, make sure you listen and understand before you dive in with problem-solving techniques, but always remind your significant other that you’re there for them. Being in a relationship is about both give and take and if they’re acting out of character, get stuck into the issue with them.
Talk to me in the comments:
What additional ways can you support your partner through a hard time?
Our spouses/ partners are our rocks and we are theirs. These are great tips.
I agree wholeheartedly. I am so grateful to have my spouse.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I hope to see you again soon.
I wish more people would listen rather than speak. I think the world would be a better place. Thanks for the info and hopefully it helps some people understand!
Listening does make a positive difference. There are always more than one way to look at things, and if you don’t want to listen to other’s you don’t give yourself room to grow and connect.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I hope to see you again soon.