I have already written 16 Top Advice for First Time Moms. I decided it was time to write a top advice post for first-time dads. After all, Dad is just as important as the mother in their kids’ lives. Often, society makes them feel inferior to mothers. I don’t ever want to come across that way, hence why I’m writing this article. My husband and I have raised three kids, ages 16, 12, and 8. As with ALL advice I give, read it and take to heart what you think fits well for your life.
Discuss parenting expectations EARLY!
Everyone is raised differently in life. Each of you has your own viewpoints about how kids should be raised. It’s vital that you discuss these viewpoints before having kids. It’s hard to raise them when you disagree on the BIG key things.
You’ll find many times throughout your parenting journey where you disagree. In our home, my husband has the FINAL say on all things. He has NEVER abused that right, always listened to my input, and given me freedom in many ways to raise the kids as I see fit. However, he does use his trump card when it’s needed. For that reason, every couple should have one person who has the final say.
If you disagree with your spouse, never show that in front of the kids because, believe me, they will use it to their advantage and play you against each other OFTEN! It will lead to tons more issues. Discuss issues in private and stand together on them.
Learn about postpartum depression!
With my first daughter, I had postpartum depression and didn’t even know it. As a result, I ended up in an unnecessary divorce because my ex and I had no clue why I went literally insane.
Postpartum depression could have led me down a more dangerous path than it did. I HIGHLY recommend everybody learn about it. Men, I urge you to learn the signs. This very well may save your wife and child’s lives. Not to mention your relationship!
Shower the baby’s mother with love and remind her how beautiful she is daily.
Even without postpartum depression, your wife is going to be full of emotions and feelings she doesn’t fully understand. She’s going to see her body for the first time without the growing baby inside her. Her world is altered both physically, emotionally, and as a human. We know your world is forever changed, but it’s different for women because our bodies are transformed.
We worry about not being beautiful enough for you. We worry about you still finding us desirable. We do need the 3-6 weeks to heal and be ready for sex. However, that doesn’t mean we don’t want to feel your love physically in other ways.
Remember how you view your wife’s looks will help determine how your kids will classify the definition of beautiful for them. As we all know, our appearances DO change as we grow older.
We need to hear from YOU that YOU think we’re beautiful and sexy for YOU.
Enjoy every moment!
I can’t say this enough! Kids grow up QUICKLY! It feels like 18 years are so far away when they are babies, but I promise you it’s NOT. Eighteen years as a parent go by faster than any other time.
Savor those moments when you’re stuck getting up to feed a baby at 2 AM. Instead of worrying about losing sleep over it, snuggle that precious baby more. Remember how your baby looks at you with total admiration, trust, and love.
Teenagers typically don’t want anything to do with their parents. They become hermit crabs in their rooms. Nothing parents say or do is right in their mind’s eye. We are often accused of not understanding what they are going through. Those precious memories of holding them as a baby or a young child cuddled in your arms are going to be what help you get through the teenage years. It’s also going to be the tool that helps you help them!
Make time for your family, your wife, and yourself.
There is a time and a place for everything in your life. Finding that happy balance is never easy. I firmly believe that if you’re a man financially supporting your family, this is even harder for you! (I’ve been the stay-at-home wife and the breadwinner of my family. So, I get it!)
You need to ensure that you set aside date time with your wife. Despite the commonality, the kids need to come to the first mentality, and I disagree with this logic. Your relationship with your wife is FOREVER! Your kids gain far more from seeing a healthy marriage thrive than seeing you go through a divorce because you didn’t make time for each other.
Help as much as possible!
Ensure you help her around the home, especially when the kids are young (below age 10). I know you’re tired of working long hours, but she’s tired of caring for demanding kids. You helped create the kid(s), so you must help run the home. You live there, too. For everyone’s sake, you must start installing chores for kids early in life!
Breathe Before You Speak
Your life is going to be more intense than it’s ever been. You will function on two hours’ sleep IF you’re lucky for DAYS on end unless you and your spouse work out an amazing routine to ensure you both gain quality sleep. Of course, I have a hard time sleeping without my husband in bed with me, and he’s the same way, so we always end up together through it all.
As a result, you’re going to notice EVERYTHING more. Things that typically don’t bother you suddenly get under your skin.
Buy What You Need ONLY
You’ll see many things that make you want to get them for your baby. Trust me when I say you don’t need a thousand toys to entertain your baby. The biggest thing they need is your attention and love. I recommend getting some baby toys to entertain them, but don’t go overboard.
I highly recommend that you get baby clothes with zippers rather than buttons! When you have to dress them in a sleepy state, you’ll be thrilled that you went that route. Not to mention, babies love to squirm a lot!
Take lots of pictures.
Life happens in the blink of an eye. Pictures are worth a thousand words, but they can warm a heart more than you may realize. Be sure you’re in the pictures as much as possible, too. Memories are worth recording.
Above all, remember that each child and scenario is different. What may have worked for me or your other well-meaning friends and family may not work for you. You’re going to have to find out what works for your family. All my advice is nothing more than a guide to get you started.
Join the conversation:
What advice for first-time dads would you add to this list?
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Very rarely do we talk about first time dads….great post. We arent ready to have kids, but saving it for my partner!
I’m glad you liked this concept. I wrote it with my daughter’s future husbands in mind. I can only hope they’ll read it one day.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I hope to see you again soon.
Hi Crystal Green,
My baby girl Michelle Rose is due 02/8/2020 and i’m trying to get as much information to be an outstanding father . Thank you for the great advice!
Congrats on expecting Michelle Rose, that’s such a pretty name! I’m glad that you are taking the time to gather as much advice as you can. I do hope that I provided you with something unique to consider.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I hope to see you again soon.
Hi! Thanks for the information. Mom bloggers hardly talk about dads and their issues, mostly they talk about mom’s issues. Thanks again.
You’re welcome. I’ve learned my husband’s thoughts and input matters just as much.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I hope to see you again soon.
Hi! this is for the information. Very rarely do we talk about first-time dads great post.
Thanks
I’m glad that you see the value behind this post.
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Big Yes to all of it. It is hard to be parents. Dad’s have it hard too, mum had time to love the baby since they were it her tummy but dads are sort of thrown into it. Great post.
I’m glad you agree with all the input. I agree Dads are thrown into it.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting.
These tips are incredibly helpful for first time dads! It can be overwhelming navigating fatherhood for the first time, but with advice like this, it makes the journey a little less daunting. Thank you for sharing these valuable insights!
I’m glad you found this advice to helpful. I believe parenting as a whole is overwhelming when we first get start this journey.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I hope to see you again soon.
Hi Crystal! Great post! I love your tips, especially making time for each other! Like you said, a lot of parents put their children first. You see this a lot with celebrities. Often when they are going through a divorce, their statement usually is “our focus is fort and foremost the children”. The children need the love and support of the parents, yes, but the children eventually go on to raise families of their own. Who is left is your spouse. Thankyou for this beautiful post. Fathers are definitely just as important, so this I needed.
I’m glad you found that point to be the one worth focusing on. To often couples forget the impact their actions have on their kids.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I hope to see you again soon.
Very informative! We don’t talk much about first time dads and I am sure this would be very helpful for them ti read through.
I’m glad you agree with this. I hope it helps first time dads.
Thank you for stopping by and commenting. I hope to see you again soon.