When parents think about starting a family, they often imagine juggling different activities like sports games and music classes while also managing work and household chores. The idea of having a child with a disability is not typically part of this vision, not because they have any bias against children with disabilities, but simply because it’s not the dream scenario that many parents envision for themselves. Special needs parents have a different and harder parenting journey.
Children with disabilities are just as lovable, just as loved, and just as easy to want to be around all the time. The problem is the system that dictates where the support goes for disabled children. Parenting a child with autism is no joke. And that’s not because of the child you get but because of the system around you.
Struggle Special Needs Parent Face
You must constantly fight for and find support as a special needs parent. When you have a child with a disability, be that a physical or a learning disability, you are constantly swimming upstream. In a world that constantly preaches diversity and inclusion, you will constantly find yourself up against everybody who wants to make your child the exception to sit down, be quiet, and be seen and not heard. Don’t forget it wasn’t too long ago that children who are autistic were locked away or lobotomized. Finding support during that fight is also not easy.
You can find solace in other special needs parents, but you need more than that. Here are some places you can find support as a special needs parent.
Lean on your friends and family. They say that parenting takes a village, but when you’re parenting a disabled child, you need an entire town. Leaning on your friends and your family and speaking up when you’re struggling, and you need some additional support is the smartest thing that you can do. If you have a very small circle and you don’t have many friends or family around you, that doesn’t make you weak either. You’re not superhuman; you are just a human who often needs support.
If you need to find like-minded special needs parents, then be sure to seek out Facebook groups for additional support.
Be clear and honest about what you need. When you spend your life 24/7 managing the appointments, behaviors, and relentless noise of a child with a disability, positioning yourself in the chain and hierarchy of needs can be very difficult. You come at the bottom of the list, so you must be honest. It’s important to know when to ask for help, even to shower or escape the noise. Some autistic children communicate via screams and shouts because they are largely nonverbal. That is not always easy to cope with, and it’s OK to say so.
Look into paid care. If you don’t have anybody around you that you can ask in your circle of family or friends, look at the option of paid carers. If your child receives any disability welfare because of their additional needs, then they should be entitled to a paid carer to come and be with you and help you to be with your child. Sometimes, when your other partner is at work, you need additional help, and that is perfectly OK!
When you are raising a child with disabilities, whether they are seen or not, it requires extra measures to ensure both the child and the parent thrive in a loving relationship together. We don’t love our children any less, but we do have to look outside the typical measures to ensure they gain all they can. We have to fight the societal systems to ensure they have a fair chance to be all they can be.
Talk to us in the comments:
What are some other advice you would add to this list to help parents raise children with disabilities?
