Crystal and I are working on our tenth year of marriage this year. She asked me to think of five things that keeps magnetism alive within marriage. I immediately came up with five things that she found to be interesting. She told me to write up this post to explain it further because she said that this wasn’t the responses she expected me to say.
In order for any marriage to survive there has to be love at the core of it. Love within a relationship can truly help it to conquer all things that life throws their way. Believe me when I say that life can throw some pretty big obstacles at a couple. However, the definition of love has truly only been completely defined in a Bible. While I’m not an overly religious man, I must say that the definition of true love that the Bible gives is a wonderful way to define love.
It states that it is patient, kind, does not envy, does not boast, is not proud, does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs, does not delight in evil, but rather rejoices with the truth, it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always preserves. LOVE NEVER FAILS. I Corinthians 13: 4-8
If you’re not living your life and showcasing your spouse with these qualities, then you’re not truly loving them. Which in turn will cause you to become the North and South poles of each other?
You need to have an understanding within your marriage. You have to be willing to step out of your shoes and into theirs' more readily. Over half the time in our marriage, we are not upset with each other as much as we are the situations we are currently dealing with. As a result, we tend to snap at one another without meaning to do it. We have had to learn to look at situations each of us is dealing with and have more patience with one another’s shortcomings.
Along the lines of understanding, we have to possess proper communication with each other. Sometimes that is so much harder than it sounds. We have to how to tell the truth at all times without hurting each other’s feelings. It’s hard to be truthful when that outfit doesn’t look right on your wife without hurting her feelings, I know your husbands will know exactly what I mean by that one.
Sometimes we have to learn how to properly say things without it coming out wrong. There are many times when I have to ask Crystal if she meant such and such when we’re talking because men and women can hear the same exact thing, but yet it means two totally different things. That goes back to the Women are Venus and Men are from Mars theory.
That brings up my next point, as my mother-in-law used to say prior to her passing away, “if you’re not arguing then you’re really not talking.” Mind you, I’m not saying arguing every day all day is a good thing. I’m talking about having a HEALTHY argument where you BOTH clearly voice your input on the topic. This doesn’t mean you get into name calling or belittling one another.
I’m talking about voicing all of your concerns about things that are damaging to your family and each other. You should even talk about things that they may/may not be doing that are upsetting you.
At the end of a solid argument, there has to be compromise. In every marriage, there is a good bit of giving and take. Without it, then someone ends up resenting someone down the line. Be sure to always meet in the middle on issues. Come up with a solid agreement before you close out the discussion/argument.
Remember you are always a team together. You are going to be together for life. If you keep these five tips for keeping the magnetism alive in your marriage, then you will have a long healthy marriage.
Forever My Girl
In honor of showcasing how strong love can be, be sure to check out the movie Forever My Girl which is hitting theaters on January 19, 2018.
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Talk to me in the comments, please:
What do you do to keep your magnetism alive within your marriage?