They say you never truly appreciate your parents until you have children of your own. Being a parent is just such a unique and eye-opening experience it changes you while also bring you closer with your dear old folks. But even though you and your parents probably talk more since you joined the Big People’s Club, your conversations are probably still trivial. What have you got planned this week? How are you doing? How’s Karen? That sort of thing. Rarely do people get into deep conversations with the parents and ask them about their lives, their experiences and, yeah, their perspectives too.
Trust us; you really should orchestrate a deep conversation with your parents, though. You will be gobsmacked by what you learn, things you would never have otherwise known about the people that brought you into this world. The reality is this: when they pass, many of those answers you never knew, stories you never heard and explanations will pass with them.
So, don’t waste any more time in asking them the questions that matter, questions that would explain what shaped their lives and their personality, maybe even their choices. It could be face to face, through a written letter or anything; it will be one of those days that you remember forever because it will be the day you learned more about your parents than ever before.
What was your childhood like?
We are all victims of our childhood, even good ones, for they made us what we are. It is a time in our life that shapes us more than any other, yet you probably have no idea what you parents childhoods were like, aside from where they came from.
What were your grandparents like?
Your being here is the product of thousands and thousands of years of luck and choices and procreation, so the question of where you came from is an astounding one to ask. If you quickly visit everhere.com then you can search for the obituaries of lost ones, which will teach you so much, but you should ask your folks what their folks were like, and their folks too. This is your history.
What was the defining point in your life?
Thoughtcatalog.com did an article on the little things that define our lives, but it is bigger than this. We all have that moment in life where our life meets a fork in the road and we are faced with a decision, one that will affect the rest of our life. Usually, we don’t realize this until afterward, which is why you ask your parents about theirs. Ask them what it was and why they choose the path they eventually took. You could even ask them they thought it changed.
What have you always wanted to tell me?
This is one of those questions that will unearth things you never knew and maybe things that will reduce you to tears. You see, every parent has something they have always wanted to tell their child but hasn’t had the courage to, not yet anyway, usually because the time is never and will never be right. Make the time right by asking.
What if you got to do it all over again?
Most people would lie and tell you they wouldn’t change anything, but if you can pose it in such a way that they don’t have to make a choice between altering their past and it affecting their present, you may get some of the most candid insights and wisdom the likes of which you have never heard before.
Talk to me in the comments, please:
Has your relationship changed with your parents since you had kids?