Is it Love or Lust? Can you tell the difference? Here are the questions I ask to find out. I woke up and just thought I wanted to get something out there. I have always wondered what love is. You're with someone and you say I love you, but do you really? Isn't it just something that we say nowadays? I used to think that love would hit you like a ton of bricks, but it doesn't have to. I met my wife (now she is my 3 third wife.) I met her before any of my other wives. When I first met, her I knew that there was something about her that I just wanted to be near. There wasn't anything that I wouldn't do for her at that time. I even asked her to marry me back then. She said yes but broke it off a few times because of her friends.
Each time it hurt just a little more than the last. The last time she did it over the phone. And then she was gone from my life and she (at that time) never wanted to see or talk to me again. I went wild for a while. Not wanting to be with any one person. I turned into what a lot of other guys were (someone that did care (not saying that every guy was or is like that.)) I thought I was having a great time while being with 2 or 3 women at a time. At the time, I even married someone that let me. But it wasn't love or even lust. By this time, I had 2 kids, which I love to this day. One that can't be with me, but I get to talk to, and one that is.
One day I woke up and told myself that I couldn't live like this anymore and I moved out. I started my life over yet again. I told myself that I didn't think I even knew what love was. Then by chance, the person that I thought I loved, in the beginning, came back into my life. Did I still love her or was it just something that was left over from before? I didn't know, but I wanted to know.
We got back together and even got married and had kids. Meanwhile, I waited for those bricks to hit me again, but they haven’t. Will they ever? I don't think so.
Like I said I woke up today and wanted to say something, now here it is. This is just what I am thinking it might not be your way of looking at it. However, this is a bit of food for thought.
To know if you love someone all you should do is ask these questions:
1. Do you enjoy being with them?
2. Do you look forward to seeing or talking to them?
3. Do you know what they are going to say or do before they do?
4. Do you find that you do little things for them without even knowing it or being asked?
5. Can you see yourself just sitting beside them and looking at the sunset or stars?
There are more but I think these 5 things, at least for me, answer the question about love. I have found my ton of bricks in these 5 things. They just didn't hit me all at once this time.
I'm not saying we don't have our ups and downs. But, we work through it not just for the kids but for us. If you feel your hurt, that isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes you must hurt to find your way to something that is wonderful. Because when you find that person for yourself that takes the pain and says you don't have to go through this alone. It just might be something you should stop and start asking questions 1-5.
At least for me, I can say that I have found my love and she is my wife now and for the rest of time.